Your Ex Violated Your Custody Agreement. Now What?

Custody agreements are court-ordered arrangements that dictate how divorced parents shall share the responsibility of raising their children. Since most parents understandably want to spend as much time with their children as possible, being awarded substantial time in the custody agreement is often a top priority for parents in the middle of a divorce.


Once the custody agreement is in place, it is important that both parents abide by the limitations and boundaries it presents. Unfortunately, not all parents do. This week, our family attorneys at the Lake of the Ozarks are here to examine what happens when one parent violates a custody arrangement.

What Constitutes A Violation Of A Custody Agreement?

Before we can discuss the consequences of violating a custody agreement, we must clarify what counts as a legitimate violation of said agreement. Just because a certain behavior is frustrating or inconsiderate (such as your ex being half an hour late to your child's scheduled drop-off) does not necessarily mean it constitutes an actual violation of the agreement. Here are a few general examples of the types of behavior that may qualify as legitimate violations of custody orders:
  • Abducting The Child
    • Most divorced parents have strict limitations regarding when and where they are allowed to take a child. If one parent forcibly takes the child, obscures the child's location, or takes the child across state lines, they may be held in violation of their custody agreement and may, in some cases, be charged for kidnapping. Local law enforcement are responsible for handling cases where the children remain in the same state. If a parent takes a child across state lines or out of the country without permission, the FBI may become involved.
  • Refusing Visitation
    • In some cases, a parent may not be awarded actual custody of a child but may be allowed to spend time with the child under a visitation agreement. If a parent fails to obey this order and denies the other parent rightful visitation privileges either by refusing outright or by repeatedly scheduling appointments during visitation times, he/she may be held in violation of a custody agreement.
  • Violating Religious Ground Rules
    • Religion is an important component of a child's life, and parents typically feel strongly about the religious teachings their children receive. Often, the court will recommend that parents outline at least basic religious parameters within their custody paperwork. If one parent violates this agreement in some manner (for example, baptizing a child in a religion that is different than the one specified in the agreement), it may be considered a violation of their custody agreement.
  • Speaking Poorly Of The Other Parent
    • The court recognizes the important roles both parents play, and as such generally look for ways to allow both parents to remain involved in their child's life. If one parent repeatedly badmouths their ex in an attempt to drive a wedge between the other parent and the child, he/she may be violating a custody agreement.

What To Do When Your Ex Violates Your Custody Agreement

If your spouse violates your custody agreement, the first thing you should do is evaluate the severity of the situation in regards to your child's safety. If you believe he may be in danger, contact local law enforcement immediately. If you believe he is safe but that your ex-spouse has nevertheless violated the agreement, you could try talking to your ex directly to see if you can resolve the issue on your own.

We recommend that you keep a journal or a log documenting the dates, times, and ways that your ex violated the agreement. If the problem persists, schedule a consultation with your divorce lawyer in Camden County MO. Your attorney can help you determine the best way to approach the situation. 


Law Offices of Phillips, McElyea, Carpenter, & Welch, P.C.
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